Friday, April 23, 2010

Dotty Says, Of Course I Can Read I'm Not Dead

You won't believe this one either.....
By Dorothy DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Can you believe in the article -- Alzheimer's My Mother Can Read -- Bobby has a picture of Chiquita Banana. And, guess what he wants me to do now? He wants me to sing the Chiquita Banana song.

How is that?

You know, I might be older than dirt but I am not dead. Of course I can read.

In the old days before Bobby moved in, he would come down and visit me a couple of times a year. I would get up at 6:30 in the morning, make coffee, READ the newspaper, and wait for Bobby to wake up around 9 AM.

By 9, I had gone to Dunkin Donuts for his two chocolate frosted donuts, and picked up his USA Today newspaper. When he finally got up, I would make him bacon and eggs. I don't remember him saying anything like, you can't eat eggs everyday they are bad for your cholesterol.

In those days that boy could sleep. Now, it seems like he never sleeps.

You won't believe this one either. I got another egg today for breakfast. Bobby claims that the people that read this so called blog brainwashed him. Keep up the good work. Will you please explain to him that potato chips are good for you. How else do you explain that I am older then dirt?

Bobby is telling me I have to take a shower. I ask him why? He says we both stink and we need a shower. I told him I don't stink and offer to let him take a whiff of my pit. He tells me my old nose is not working. I tell him, thats a crock of shit. He laughs and tells me that if anyone breaks in and tries to rob us I should run right at them and they will run out the door once they smell me. Bobbys says I can't tell you what I said. He claims the blog is not yet X rated.

Last night Bobby says eat your spinach. I tell him no. He says you use to love spinach. Well, I can't remember if I loved spinach or not, but I can tell you I don't like the looks of it now.

Bobby then looks at me and says, double ice cream. Bobby likes to talk in his own code. I asked him, what the hell does that mean? He tells me, eat the spinach and you get double ice cream tonight. Why the hell didn't he say that in the first place. Bobby watches and makes sure I eat ALL the spinach. I'll lick the plate if it means double ice cream.

I am happy about one thing. At least Bobby didn't try to tell me spinach is a gift from God. Is there any chance that Bobby actually believes that crap when he says it?

I'm hungry. I'm starving. I have to go start whining so I can get something to eat in this joint.

Don't forget, work on the potato chips.

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Dorothy DeMarco is a contributing writer and frequently portrayed character on the Alzheimer's Reading Room. Dotty resides in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Dorothy DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room


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