Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Dotty Says, You Won't Believe This

By Dorothy DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

I guess I did something right because I'm back. Bobby told me if I do a good job I'll get some fans. Fans? I want something to eat. How much does this job pay anyway?

You won't believe this. Bobby gave me an egg salad sandwich for lunch. Delicious. No potato chips though. Fruit, celery, carrot and olives. I'm good with the olives. Bobby says the fruit will give me lots of energy. I'm old (don't ask me my age) how much energy do I need.

As is common Bobby is up to something. He has all these aspirins and is mushing them up in warm water. I asked him what he is up to and he says, remember the article with household tips you found in the paper on Sunday. I tell him no, I don't remember. He whips out the article and shows it to me. He points to aspirin and tells me to read it to him.

It says, you can get perspiration stains out of white fabric by mixing aspirin in warm water, rubbing it on the fabric and waiting a couple of hour before washing. Bobby needs his head examined. He is trying to get the perspiration stains out of some ten year old Eagles shirt he loves. It looks like a rag.

Bobby worked on Wall Street do you think he could afford a new Eagles shirt? Meanwhile when I ask him where he got the old rags I am wearing he tells me they are new. I guess he washes em in aspirin and then pronounces them new. What a scam. I'm going to get in the car and drive myself over to Lord and Taylor and get some new cloths.

So there is Bobby working away on his rag and he is singing some crazy song. Something like, if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life or something like that. It is a shame that that boy can't sing a lick because he loves to sing. My husband, Franny, use to tell Bobby he should sing solo, so low that nobody can hear him.

He has songs about poop, pee, potato chips (I like that one), and yuck prune juice.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention. Bobby shows me the egg salad and gets me all excited. Then he informs me that I am getting my egg salad sandwich as soon I drink my prune juice. Did you ever taste prune juice? It tastes like poison. Bobby likes to tell me it is one of God's greatest gifts. I think one of God's greatest gifts is the potato. Mashed, baked, boiled, fried, home fires, hash browns, you name it.

You should have seen the look on Bobby's face. His eyes were bulging out of his head when I slugged down that glass of prune juice in one big gulp. Thank goodness he didn't start singing the prune juice song. I'm hungry.

Can you see that picture that Bobby has of me on this so called blog. Would you do that to your mother? It looks worse then that guy on the cover of Mad magazine. Bobby says I look like Einstein's daughter and it gives me a personality all my own.

That picture could scare mud off a shovel if you ask me.

If Bobby wants me to keep writing I want a new picture and a raise.

Ok, I have to go because I haven't had anything to eat today and I'm hungry. I'm hungry, I'm starving.

Dorothy DeMarco is a contributing writer and frequently portrayed character on the Alzheimer's Reading Room. Dotty resides in Delray Beach, FL.

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Original content Dorothy DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room


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